Beauty in the Assembly: A Holy Kiss

The COVID-19 pandemic has forever impacted those living in the 21st Century, especially those who engage in religious gatherings. In particular, the Christian church and those whose lives are touched by it have been hit hard. The pandemic has caused many Christians to see the beauty and value of things they once took for granted, and Christian fellowship is likely at the top of that list. Perhaps nothing has been more longed for, more sought after in these times of mask wearing and social distancing than a warm embrace. No, not the superficial greeting by those lacking the Holy Spirit’s transformation. This is the genuine Christian embrace—hug, kiss, or similar—which has been an under-appreciated element of fellowship and worship in Western Christian circles for quite some time. Yet, the loving embrace among redeemed sinners is critical. The Scriptures command it, and it has been present in the church since its inception. Whether your church is meeting virtually or in-person, this embrace has been lessened in the church to some degree even if it’s only to the extent that church attendance is down because of the pandemic.

Let’s be honest, for many believers the embrace was not the highlight of their Christian gathering pre-COVID-19. Nevertheless, several times in Scripture the Apostle Paul instructs believers to greet each other with a “holy kiss” (φιλήματι ἁγίῳ / transliterated Gk. philemati hagio).1

In this post, I’d like to use Romans 16 as a focal Scripture, not because it’s superior to the other references but because of its imperative sentence construction.

Greet one another with a holy kiss. – Rom. 16:16a ESV

The epistle to Roman Christians is filled with a gospel-rich theological discourse that makes it a favorite for many today. The church, like most churches of the first century, experienced persecution, hardship, and great temptations, especially considering they were located at or near the epicenter of Roman life. Nevertheless, towards the end of the epistle, as Paul pronounces a list of salutations to Christians by name, he gradually brings the epistle to a close with the instruction to “greet one another with a holy kiss.”

The holy kiss can be distinguished by that word “holy.” This same word is used of God and the Third Person in the Trinity. This removes any thought of impropriety or romantic passion involved in this “kiss.” The Greek verb for “to greet” (ἀσπάσασθε / trnsltrtd. Gk. aspasasthe) in that text is indeed in the imperative. What’s more, we know Judas using the kiss to betray Jesus made the action all the more sinister because culturally, in that region and time, the kiss meant fondness, warmth, and closeness between parties. If the kiss amplifies the betrayal, how much more does the genuine “kiss” signify true Christian affection for each other.

With the passage firmly understood, the application is more clear. Paul is deliberate in sending warm wishes to fellow believers. This is not a formality for him as it may seem to those reading today. It’s genuine. He wants that love for the brothers (and sisters) in the Lord to be genuine and infectious. Believers are to use this action to exemplify the true love radiating among the redeemed. This helps the church live out John 13:34-35 through their actions. It’s no wonder the Apostle uses this phrase and instructs believers to do this on more than one occasion in his epistles.

This idea of greeting each other with a holy kiss works out on a practical level as well. There’s a certain comfort and encouragement experienced by a warm embrace, a loving greeting when feeling less than encouraged. Whether being berated by Satan and his minions for some pesky sin that hasn’t been conquered, feeling less than Christian because of personal loneliness, or dealing with sorrow and depression due to life’s challenges, this loving and intimate act–when done right–may not change the situation, but it certainly improves it. The social interaction of the group helps; this is one beautiful element of the assembly. When the Christian experience rightly includes the “holy kiss” (or equivalent), it helps alleviate any feelings of figurative leprosy from the local assembly!2

In closing, I pray that if and when things are “more like before” that we are motivated to embrace like never before! This is not an argument for a cultural revolution of sorts so that we bring back actual kisses to the American church. This is instead a call to look at it more seriously, more reverently, more fondly. The warm greeting among believers is a critical part of Christian life. God knows more than us, and all Scripture is inspired (God-breathed). So when Paul wrote this, we know the Holy Spirit was sanctioning it as good and necessary for the church. Let us be the church indeed, embracing and appreciating this element of fellowship for God’s glory and our benefit.


1. Rm. 16:16, 1 Cor. 16:20, 2 Cor. 13:12, 1 Th. 5:26. The verse in Thessalonians may allude more to Paul sending his kiss to those who read the letter since it reads “greet all the brothers” rather than “greet one another.”

2. Luke 17:11-17 recounts Jesus’s interaction with Ten lepers. Leprosy ostracized an individual for the safety of the group according to the levitical code (Lev. 13:45-46). This isolation was necessary but had a negative social effect on those with this skin issue. For this reason, it would not be surprising that they roamed in packs giving them a limited social interaction.

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