A while back, I was led down the infamous YouTube rabbit trail. You know, where the algorithm throws videos in your direction that they think you’ll be interested in? Well, that rabbit trail allowed me to find a brand new world. It started with a video by someone who called himself “Joker” and eventually ended with discovery of one of the more prominent figures in the movement, the late Kevin Samuels.
Hours later and shortly after that sequence of videos, I began talking to my wife about the content. As a man who’s been married for 17 years and who’s active in the church, ministering to singles and couples alike, I considered myself as someone having a degree of insight into relationships and human behavior. Boy, was I wrong! I was astounded and had my eyes opened to something like an underground movement. It reminded me of a virtual barbershop or Fight Club without the violence—it was a movement with a lot of support coming from adult males who believed their voices weren’t being heard. That content is considered “red pill,” or “manosphere,” having some affiliation with the concepts from the 1999 movie, the Matrix, where the red pill represents those willing to go against conventional thinking to learn the “truth.”
As I talked with my wife like a child who’d just taken their first trip to an amusement park and couldn’t wait to share his experience, I realized I had to—out of commitment to a biblical worldview—temper my conversation. I realized I was fascinated by the concepts, discussion, and willingness to speak in ways that were largely foreign to someone like me, born after 1980. I was amazed to hear statistics and data that was readily available via the internet but, for whatever reason, was generally ignored.1 Yet, I also grieved and saw that for all that was good, there was bad—a lot of bad—because the worldview was/is flawed. In this post, I will share a several observations about red pill society and how it interacts with Christianity.
Man-centered and Primal
There’s nothing wrong with having a space for men. In fact, I think it’s healthy and helpful for men to have that space. However, when that space starts with man it’ll be flawed and limited like man. To be clear, the same could be said of a female-dominated space that starts with the female perspective at the center rather than God. If God is indeed the Almighty Creator, then all ideologies should flow from Him, not humanity. Why? Because mankind is fallen, sinful, and prone to destructive ways (Rom. 3:23; Rom. 5:12-14; Rom 8:20-22). This doesn’t mean that he can never do anything good or redemptive. Rather, it means that he, independent of God, cannot produce anything of ultimate, true, and lasting goodness. While people in this community can have a hint of religion, the red pill community as a whole seemed to be more concerned with moralism (to an extent; more on that later) than with God-ordained truth and guidance. The red pill community suffers because there’s an absence of God from their worldview.
Not only is there a man-centered perspective in this community, but there’s also an animalistic, primal element to it, too. The concept of alpha males and beta males or “simps” came up frequently. All of this is consistent with the animal kingdom, especially among primates.2 Yet, these categories are unhelpful beyond creating more division and elevating the man’s status and leverage in attracting “higher quality women” (often code for “better-looking women with less sexual mileage”).
It’s Ethical…Until It’s Inconvenient
On the surface, the red pill community seemed to espouse a sense of morality. Yet, as stated previously, the movement is (hu)man-centered, which its limited ethics demonstrates. The movement esteemed being classy, civil, decisive, hygienic, law-abiding, and being men of dignity and integrity (which is good and commendable). They discouraged sitting around playing video games all day or consuming gross amounts of pornography. The limits on gaming and pornography were both good recommendations, though I’d argue for abandoning pornography altogether (which is easier said than done apart from Jesus or perhaps counseling).
However, what the red pill movement didn’t promote was monogamy and faithfulness, nor did it promote commitment and marriage, unless and until one had a significant amount of money, was over the age of 30-35, and absolutely believed it was right for them (but, you’d better have a prenuptial!). Encouragement to do good was almost always rooted in improving one’s self as a man, a means to an end, and therefore, always had a man-centered reward in view (see physically beautiful and cooperative women). Goodness held a secular and limited scope; the sphere didn’t suggest goodness because we’re created beings who are subject to an Almighty God. Instead, it was usually viewed as improving one’s leverage in the sexual marketplace.
Next, there seemed to be a tacit acceptance of infidelity whether in dating relationships or marriage. Repeatedly, I heard things that indicated “high-value men” cheat, as though it was some rite of passage, and it’d be one thing if it was simply a statement of what often occurs, but it wasn’t that simple. It seemed to be encouraging affairs, and the messaging suggested that women ought to put up with high-value “cheaters” because of his rarity and because of what he has to do in order to acquire his wealth and status.
To be fair and clear, there were some manosphere content creators who were supposedly rooted in some semblance of a Christian worldview, but either for views, subscribers, or to avoid alienating their audience, they didn’t emphasize the Christian worldview enough for my tastes.3
An Incomplete Story
While the failures of men are mentioned and most people in that space esteem accountability, they seem to side step the failures of men in society deliberately. I understand why, too. They believe modern feminism (and so called “blue pill”) has already addressed that matter “and then some.” So, in the interest of time and in order to focus, they tend to address the male perspective. This creates a sort of echo chamber not unlike that which is done on the feminist/blue pill side. This is unhealthy because people who only listen to one side or the other, or people who only listen to the extremes, the worst of the arguments, will think those are the only arguments.
Additionally, it would be helpful to have quality counterarguments in the red pill space. To do that, however, they would need informed women (or perhaps men) with opposing views who could substantiate that view with statistics. While this would make for less entertaining streams than the random 19-year-old who thinks she’s informed because she has a “pay-to-view” pornographic webcam account, it would still make for much more healthy dialogue and information.
Bitter, Angry, and Sometimes Hostile
The clips I observed from a variety of content creators occasionally did interact with women who possessed a different viewpoint. Yet, when these content creators received any degree of perceived rudeness—taking control of the discussion, talking over them, being childish, or being blatantly disrespectful—they would swiftly use foul language and aggressively shut down the guest. Now, I have no objections to maintaining structure and not allowing disrespect to pervade on one’s platform (it’s often necessary to maintain order and respect like a judge in a courtroom), but being equally rude and profane in response isn’t the correct answer either.
All of this—the bitterness, the caution towards low-character women, or swiftly shutting down such women—is understandable, too. After all, this is an entire movement borne out of a response to other movements. It’s a reactionary movement. Yet, that doesn’t make the hostility towards women right.4 It doesn’t justify the aggressive, insulting name-calling towards those who differ in opinion or even work from a faulty rationale and worldview.
A Temporary Fix
Everything I witnessed in the manosphere only focused on the now (or near future). One of the most well known influencers, Kevin Samuels, is no longer with us. Many of the influencers encourage men to do their best and become their best self in this lifetime. What they don’t particularly focus on is when the challenges of life happen or when someone dies. I’m not faulting them in this way, either. They don’t have such solutions; it’s not in their framework. God is not the center nor is the Bible. Yet, therein lies the problem. With all the perceived logic and self-improvement, there’s a blind spot: the futility and brevity of this life.
What Red Pill Gets Right
There are a few things that I believe the red pill community gets right.
- Community. One of the first things that stood out was the need for male community. While men also need the sort of refining that women often provide, they need a space that can tolerate more masculine traits and free expression without being concerned about simple offenses.
- Improvement. I appreciate their emphasis on becoming a better version of one’s self and operating with integrity. Now, this usually flies out of the window (as alluded to earlier) when it comes to their own advances in the sexual marketplace, but I digress. Self-improvement, even for this lifetime and limited scope, does have a benefit.
- Direct Communication. Another one of the things I think the red pill society gets right (though incomplete) is direct communication. It’s refreshing to hear conversation unfazed by political correctness or constant disclaimers for things that are easily researched facts.
- Commitment to Standards. Yet another element I think it gets right is countering the idea that men must change their goals and desires based on a warped sense of what the media has been feeding society. Men should not be ostracized if they find a certain body type attractive and another one unattractive. That’s just an example, too. I’m far less concerned about physical beauty standards. I am, however, glad there’s a space where people aren’t so easily swayed by media and whimsical, unfounded, social ridicule.
- Statistics and Facts Driven. Reliance on statistics (albeit somewhat selective statistics) is another highlight. Statistics aren’t perfect, but good statistics do provide fact-based data of which we can analyze. Rather than having a discussion or acting based on subjective feelings, statistics provide a framework for what’s actually happening in the world.
A Better Alternative
I firmly believe Christianity offers a better alternative—in fact, the best alternative. The Christian worldview already possesses the good and redemptive elements of “red pill” ideology (let’s face it, the Bible was here first) and gives mankind the solutions that the manosphere lacks. The Scriptures not only outline the role of wives but also the responsibility of husbands.5 Most importantly, the Bible addresses what happens to your soul when you die.
If you’re searching for truth or seeking what to do as a man, here are some tips:
- Start with God; start with the Bible. I know everyone doesn’t subscribe to the Bible, but everyone doesn’t subscribe to certain statistics, and that doesn’t stop people from using them. Even if one disagrees with the Bible, there are a ton of facts in it that are clearly observable today (e.g., sinfulness of man, general truths from Proverbs, prophecies fulfilled, etc. Check out “Scientific Facts in the Bible” here).
- Learn about manhood from Jesus’s perspective. Understand that biblical leadership is one of servanthood, not self-gratification. Jesus said those who are to be great among you must be the servant of all (Matt. 23:11). Jesus washed the disciples’ feet (John 13:12-15). Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it (Eph. 5:25).
- Value women because the Bible does so. Recognize and emphasize the valuable role that women play in society and Scripture beyond being pretty and incubating children. The relationship between men and women doesn’t need to be more antagonistic nor imbalanced. Men and women can exist in great harmony because of Christ. Virtuous women, with their nurturing, supportive, industrious, resourceful, compassionate, and wise ways (Prov. 31:10-31), reflect complements to men, not competition.
- Consider and practice the Bible’s sexual ethic. The Bible calls for marriage to be between one man and one woman for one lifetime. That’s it. Although there were concubines in the Old Testament, it was generally reserved for the wealthiest of society and was never commanded nor encouraged. The Bible calls for monogamy and any sex outside of marriage is sinful (do a study on the Greek word, πορνεια/porneia, where we get the word pornography.)
In the end, men and women have been at odds since the Fall (Gen. 3:15-16). Jesus’s atoning work on the cross, however, makes reconciliation between God and mankind an attainable reality. We don’t need to settle for improved yet flawed solutions. We can achieve the highest good, pursue the proper improvement, and share in righteous community through Christ.
1. Most notably is the fact that women, not men, file for 70-80% of divorces in America (see https://www.divorcemag.com/blog/6-reasons-why-women-are-more-likely-to-file-for-divorce-than-men , accessed March 5, 2023.). Note that a simple Google search will confirm that approximate number several times over with an array of law firms and divorce data websites all too eager to share this information. Also, the data doesn’t always reflect the reasons why women divorce, but infidelity is not as high on some lists as you might think.
2. NOTE: a brief survey of the internet revealed that the often referenced alpha male of a wolfpack has been debunked since the 1960s when it was introduced due to additional and better research that suggested otherwise. Nevertheless, the concept of alphas does appear present—though in a different form—in primates like chimpanzees and apes.
3. In fairness, perhaps there was more content that did emphasize it, and I just didn’t see it.
4. NOTE: I firmly believe in mitigating disrespect, but godly leaders and those of high character are capable of doing so diplomatically.
5. NOTE: red pill will often mention the general biblical concepts of protecting and providing as the role of the husband but exclude the command to love, sacrificially, the wife as Christ loved the church.