(***Warning!!! This post contains mature subject matter***)
Some of this post contains an excerpt from a created-but-never-published post from 2016. The contents are as true today as they were back then. I want to address pornography but not in the traditional way. Without being salacious, I want to address its effect on men (primarily) and society. This writing won’t be lengthy or from some “high horse” perspective; porn is something I’ve dealt with and still experience negative effects to this present day. Let me be clear: viewing, supporting, fantasizing about, and creating porn is a sin. This isn’t an attempt to glamourize it, but to remove some of its power by highlighting its more subtle impact. As I write this, I realize the damage has been done to me. At the same time, God can, will, and is healing my heart and mind from my years of bondage to it. Yet, I can’t help but feel sadness for the next generation of young people who, apart from divine intervention, will have been even more satiated with hardcore and explicit images of pornography because they’ve had excessive amounts at their fingertips. Apart from God, they will malign and destroy real connection with their closest friends and future spouses. This is why we must address this work of darkness and aid others to find hope in Christ. With that said, allow me to pull back the covers a bit on pornography, applying a little Eph. 5:11.
It’s. Not. Real.
The world of porn is not real. It masquerades as real, but it’s not. It’s pseudo reality, which is normally called fiction, but due to its use of real people engaging in real and intimate acts, it becomes a distortion and perversion. This is different from a Hollywood movie where the good guy “kills” the bad guy. In the movie, the audience is aware that no one actually was killed. That’s not the case with porn. The participants (I hesitate to call them actors) are actually engaged in sexual activity.
Often, the one viewing porn is vaguely aware of this distorted reality, yet it’s not always at the forefront of his mind. It is like the man who smokes cigarettes knowing it causes cancer and emphysema, but he isn’t mindful of this while he takes a puff. The porn consumer is the same way. With some exception, he knows women don’t actually behave that way. They usually don’t crave sex that much, don’t administer sex that way, and those crazy positions aren’t practical, comfortable, or enjoyable. Further, he realizes women don’t usually look the way they do in porn. Nude, cartoon-like proportions, without a hair out of place, while wearing their best makeup, having no scars or noticeable blemishes, and a pair of 7-inch heels. Guys (with few exception) don’t actually have sexual relations for hours at a time and don’t typically possess super-sized genitalia. It’s fantasy, not much different than playing a Legend of Zelda video game or reading a Lord of the Rings novel.
Not Quite Porn But Still Damaging
Beyond what is actually considered pornography, there is much out here that’s pornographic or porn-adjacent. Modern society is littered with pornographic images, as Dr. Voddie Baucham once alluded. It’s not quite porn, so we have a tendency to overlook it. Don’t believe me? Consider this. There was a time when what the typical woman now wears to the local Wal-Mart would have been reserved for her husband’s eyes alone…in close quarters…probably with the lights off. Our media, including television, magazines, and Instagram, have altered what’s perceived as normal female attire. We don’t think twice about it. The tight, sheer, short, skimpy clothing is largely considered acceptable. Look at the average woman’s “workout” gear, and you’ll see there is little modesty, if any, in today’s culture (while I’m focused on female modesty, I’m aware that some males lack modesty, and I’m aware that males still have a responsibility to guard their own hearts and eyes despite what society is doing. However, that’s a different writing for a different day). Combine all of this with the abundance of scantily-clad celebrities, racy movie scenes (R-rated or not), and social media attention-yearnings, and one can see why our society is so sex-crazed. This porn-adjacent activity is crushing the souls of people in private and doing so in droves. Sex is everywhere and is expected of everyone without regard for God and with little restraint.
There is Hope; Jesus Still Reigns
I wanted to call out this false reality so we could do something about it. Hope is not lost. While porn consumption is indeed taking a toll on the physical, mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being of many, this makes for a ripe harvest (Lk. 10:2). I anticipate those who are exhausted with demonic spiritual beat downs (yes, this stuff is demonic) will have a prodigal encounter and come to their senses. That is why the people of God, the Christians, must be ready and reliable avenues to point the lost and broken to the Lord.
What can you do to get ready? First, do not entertain such wickedness; cease from any porn or porn-adjacent material. Second, pray for those bound by pornography, who are struggling alone and lack hope of being free. Third, pray against the demonic wickedness of porn. Fourth, pray for and support those ministries actively seeking to rid society of pornography or empowering people to overcome it (see Exodus Cry or God Over Porn). Fifth, pray for more laborers to be added to the mission fields. Sixth, be an active and ready witness; share your faith with others. Seventh, stand firm on the truth of Scripture, trusting in Christ as supreme.
We have no need to lose hope. Christ saw this day and still died on the cross for the porn consumer. He’s still on the throne and is superior to all manifestations of darkness including porn.